There has been a good bit of talk around our office about holiday food. As a guy who knows a lot about eating I offer to you now my top 4 holiday eating tips collected over the last 49 years.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots anywhere near a Christmas spread is of the devil and should be avoided. You should leave immediately and go find some rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. Because they won’t sell it to you any other time of the year. And it’s awesome!
3. If gravy is an option always take it. We are living in the south – we like fried foods and we like it covered in gravy.
4. If you come across something really good on the buffet table, like those awesome Christmas cookies that have the icing on them, do not leave them behind. Stay right there and eat as many as you can before someone notices. If you leave them you will never see them again.
Okay those are my top 4. What would you add?
7 comments:
I totally agree with you, Christmas is not the time for healthy eating, or diets. That's why none of my cookies or fudge or good for you but they make us feel good. There was always so much food during the holidays in our family. It's just the way we did things. We bake all month long getting things ready, now we do just a fraction of the baking & people still think it's too much.Wishing you & your family the very best at Christmas and always.
Thank-you for sharing your family with all of us.
love Guylaine
Although I am 14 years shy of Ed’s experience I too have learned a thing or two in my years, here is what I’ll add.
1. Eat any and all pork product. If you don’t believe in God then you haven’t had pork. Only a being as powerful and all knowing as God could have created such a perfect food.
2. Don’t be fooled by the sweets. Many times we see the sweets table and have to nab a little something before we eat the “real” food. Problem is you can’t stop with just one and before you know eat you’ve had a sugar OD and can’t enjoy the real food. Be patient my friend, there’s plenty of sweets to go around.
3. You’ve heard the saying “Go big or stay home”? That saying does NOT apply to buffet eating. I say “Go small and go frequent”. I recommend small portions, and go back a whole bunch. Determine what it is you like from the buffet and then when everyone else looks like they’re winding down go back and get as much of that one thing as you can.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, eat a sandwich. Anyone found offering plan cold cut sandwiches during the holiday season should be tried for treason. Don’t get me wrong, I like me a good sandwich, but we eat those all year long.
For those of you that know me you know I could go on for a long time on this subject. But I will spare you. Merry Christmas and may your stocking be stuffed with pork product this holiday season!
I have a "You may be a redneck if" joke. You may be a redneck if you have Chili-Cheese-Slaws dogs at your Chritmas party.
We eat this at our group party last night and they were so yummy!! We all agreed that we were rednecks.
BTW - I agree with your comments Ed. Eating heathty is for New Years resolutions not Christmas.
The best stuff is furthest from the place where you get your plate.
Be first and last in line. When you are first, you get your choice of whatever you want. When you are last, you can take everything that is left. Everybody else already had a chance!
If someone tells you, "This is a good, healthy snack", DO NOT EAT IT!! Good and Healthy are mutually exclusive. Whoever heard of something that was good for you being healthy, with the exception of Dark Chocolate. Dark Chocolate is good for you, so eat a lot of it!
Remember there is only one letter difference between "fat" and "fit", so they are very nearly the same thing. There is also only one letter difference between "die" and "diet", they are even closer than "fat" and "fit" because you just add a letter, you don't change one.
Besides, on January 1st you can tell another big lie. We call them New Years Resolutions, which often stay in effect all day on New Years Day.
Just make sure you do a cleanse for the New Year.
Something a few of us learned yesterday.
Don't eat any candy in Jeff's piggy bank.
The candy is celebrating it's 15th Christmas.
Valerie I have only allowed your comment on here because I love you. This "good health" propoganda does not belong. Merry Christmas!!!
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