Before the end of the year 
You can share whatever as long as it’s not hateful. So, here is your chance to express yourself. Take a minute and “open mic.”
Monday, December 15, 2008
blog “open mic”
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About Me
- Ed
- Sharpsburg, GA, United States
- Blessed to have three great sons and a beautiful wife, to be pastor of a great church and to get to work with some of my best friends.
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8 comments:
Thanks for the opportunity to say what's on my mind:
I am saddened by the utterly devastating effects of adultery. This ruinous breach of trust is being glamorized in my hometown of Boston. There are radio and tv ads advertising a "dating" service for married people. Their motto is, "Life is short ... have an affair." The tv ads show an intimate couple in their underwear and then say, "This couple is married ... just not to each other." It's terrible but apparently effective as they are a very large "dating" service.
Sadly, they are now advertising in the brochure given out at the Super Bowl game this year with a slogan that says, "Who are you doing after the game?" How long until this is on our tv, so our spouses and kids can see the ads or hear it on the radio or see it bigger than life on a billboard?
Thanks, Ed, for not shying away from this topic. Thanks for preaching on sex and not making it a topic forbidden in church. It's a battle.
A pair of golfers were out on the course for a round. One of them hit a drive off the 12th tee and shanked it to the right into the woods. His partner said, "Not to worry, I'll help you look for your ball." Off they went into the woods. The first golfer was crawling around looking for the ball when the second one yelled, "Hey, get a load of this!" When the first golfer got there, he saw his buddy standing at the edge of a huge hole in the ground, big enough to drive a truck into. "Holy Smokes, what a hole!" The guy who had found it said, "I can't even see the bottom of it from here. Maybe your ball went in the hole." The other guy said, "Let's throw something in and we'll be able to gauge how deep it is by the sound when it hits bottom." So they looked around for something big enough to make a noise and they came across an automobile transmission lying under a tree at the edge of a clearing nearby. "Let's throw this in," the first guy said, so they wrestled it over to the edge of the hole and pitched it in. They waited and waited for the sound of it hitting bottom but heard absolutely nothing. "Wow, that is one deep hole!" the first guy said. As they walked away from the edge to resume the search for his ball, they were startled by a noise just ahead of them. Suddenly, a goat blew by them, running for all he was worth, and the goat leaped into the hole, disappearing from sight. "Have you ever seen anything like that in your life?" asked the second golfer. Just then a man trotted up to them and asked, "Say, have either of you seen a goat pass by here?" One of the golfers said, "You're not going to believe this, but a goat just ran by here as hard as he could run and jumped into that big hole over there!" The farmer scratched his head and said, "I don't understand how he could manage to do that. I had him tied to an old automobile transmission...."
Hmmm…true open mics have songs and poetry and stuff, so here’s a poem I read the other day that I liked.
Faceless
What if you and I were
Faceless
You couldn’t know me
By my eyes, nose, curls,
The color of my skin
If you had to ask
To know
My ancestors were here
For years before
My other ancestors came
Conquered
Loved
If I had to smile
With words
My eyes not enough
To tell you
“I love you” or
“You hurt me”
What would you think
Of me
If only my voice
Singing
(as I always am)
Were the only thing
You knew me by.
What would I think
Of you?
Well, I don't know how many of you who read this know me, but I am not that big on traveling away from my house without my parents. I am usually really uncomfortable and home sick. Right now I am currently in South Africa visiting my sister and brother-in-law. I have done a variety of things, one of which is some missionary work. I have been to shelters for kids to townships. I have also been doing some touring. I have been keeping a blog that you are all welcome to go to. www.simonssatrip.blogspot.com I update it daily, pictures and all. By the way Ed, thanks so much for you help that one day, it helped a lot for my next visit to their church. Hope you guys enjoy the blog.
Ten signs you're not getting a christmas bonus
10.Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
9.The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial
8.On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
7.What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the supply closet"
6. Boss's Christmas card says, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out"
5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants
4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under an avalanche of stolen office supplies
3. Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw
2. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word "terrible" appeared 78 times
1. You coach the Detroit Lions
The following is a true story...
Customer: *marches to the front desk with her young granddaughter* “Hello, dear. Are you in charge here?”
Me: “Well, I’m in charge of the front desk. How may I help you?”
Customer: “I’d like to purchase a dog for my granddaughter.”
Me: “Er…ma’am, this is a kennel.”
Customer: “I’m aware of that! I just want to buy a dog for my granddaughter; she wants a pug.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell the animals here. We take care of dogs and cats for their owners.”
Customer: “What? You do all the work for those lazy sons of b****es?”
Me: “Um…no. The kennel takes in dogs and cats for owners when they go away for vacation or business. When they come back, they take their pets back. It’s like daycare.”
Customer: “I don’t think you understand me, boy. I told my granddaughter we were coming here to get her a dog, and you will get her a d*** dog!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but like I said before, we do not sell the dogs we keep. They are other people’s pets.”
Customer: “Goodness!” *pause* “Can I have a cat, then?”
Me: “Ma’am, does your granddaughter go to daycare?”
Customer: “Yes, but that is irrel–”
Me: “How would you like it if I went to your granddaughter’s daycare and bought her off?”
Customer: *storms off*
When we remember that our aim is spiritural progress, we return to striving to be our best selves. This is how happiness is won. Epictetus-
the answer to life is 42.
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